Thursday, July 21, 2005

Volume 5.

Yet more stuff that should be in the dictionary but isn’t.

[See Volumes 1, 2, 3, and 4 in the Archives.]

frint [frint] (n) – The female genitalia.

There’s a little history behind this exotic coinage.

Memorial Day weekend of 2003, She Who Must Be Obeyed and I were enjoying a weekend of drunken debauchery and consumptive excess fine meals and entertainment in New Orleans with our friends Steve and Sue from Northern Virginia. We were staying in the French Quarter at a fine little hotel, the Soniat House.

One evening, we happened to wander down to Bourbon Street, which was fairly lively owing to it being a Long Holiday Weekend. Even though it was not Fat Tuesday - or anything close to it - the street was packed with ethanol-fortified revelers. Women who flashed their kalamatunis were rewarded with showers of bead necklaces tossed down from wrought-iron balconies.

Hell, I even scored a bead necklace by flashing my Man-Boobs...probably because I did it while sporting the requisite Happy Leer. Hey, I’ll do most anything for a laugh; I’m not proud.

We walked past Larry Flynt’s club, and Sue made some sort of snide remark about the Publishing Genius who brought us Hustler. But somehow, the name got mangled and “Flynt” came out “Frint.” We decided right then and there that “frint” was a perfect word for the Ol’ Burgooly, given Mr. Flynt’s line of work and all.

Let’s use it in a sentence, shall we?

“Damn, I hate going to the beach. I always end up with a sunburn, and sand all up in my frint.”

And, speaking of frints, what’s the difference between a Brazilian Landing Strip and a Panamanian Landing Strip? (Don’t ask me how I know this...)

Why, the Panamanian Landing Strip has more jungle...and of course, it has a canal running right through the middle.

*sounds of Elisson being bitch-slapped*

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