Q: Is it OK to put turkey on a Greek salad?
A: Only if you’re especially Hungary.
A: Only if you’re especially Hungary.
Showing posts with label Pith and Vinegar. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pith and Vinegar. Show all posts
Monday, May 31, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
TODAY’S PITH AND VINEGAR
My mother-in-law survived Auschwitz, and I am trying to survive my mother-in-law.
[From The Collected Wit and Wisdom of Irwin W.]
[From The Collected Wit and Wisdom of Irwin W.]
Thursday, March 25, 2010
ON ANGER
When nasty folk have done you dirt
And made your life a mess;
When anger rises in your heart
And rage is in your breast,
Remember these eleven words -
Advice from years long gone:
“It’s better to be pissed off
Than to be pissed on.”
And made your life a mess;
When anger rises in your heart
And rage is in your breast,
Remember these eleven words -
Advice from years long gone:
“It’s better to be pissed off
Than to be pissed on.”
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
MADAM, I’M ADAM
Much like the above post title, today’s date - 01-11-10 - was delightfully palindromic, don’t you think?
Friday, January 08, 2010
Thursday, December 24, 2009
AN OBSERVATION, MADE WHILE WATCHING THE TUBE
SWMBO: Honey, you’re just like Brad Pitt.
Me: Yeah. Brad Armpitt.
Me: Yeah. Brad Armpitt.
Friday, October 16, 2009
A SIMPLE REQUEST
O, give me a life filled with joie de vivre
And a woman with plenty of joie de bivre.
And a woman with plenty of joie de bivre.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Sunday, October 04, 2009
TODAY’S PITH AND VINEGAR
She Who Must Be Obeyed and I were watching “Ace of Cakes” on the Food Network this afternoon. Both of us observed - almost at the exact same moment - that most of the people on the show appeared to be stoned out of their minds.
“I guess the cakes aren’t the only thing on this show that are getting baked,” I said.
It makes sense, I suppose. If I had to make a living creating cakes in miscellaneous oddball shapes - a submachine gun-toting rubber ducky, an Italian mastiff, a cruise ship being just a small sampling - I’d probably spend my entire day stoned, too.
“I guess the cakes aren’t the only thing on this show that are getting baked,” I said.
It makes sense, I suppose. If I had to make a living creating cakes in miscellaneous oddball shapes - a submachine gun-toting rubber ducky, an Italian mastiff, a cruise ship being just a small sampling - I’d probably spend my entire day stoned, too.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
TODAY’S PITH AND VINEGAR
We caught an evening showing of Julie & Julia yesterday...
I can heartily recommend this movie, seeing as how it concerns itself with two things that are dear to my heart: Blogging and Food. (Yes, the story is based on a real, honest-to-Gawd blog. There’s hope for us all!) The film captures subtleties such as the self-absorption of bloggers and their obsession with garnering the approval of complete strangers, as evidenced by hits and comments. Also, Meryl Streep’s evocation of Julia Child is... uncanny.
But She Who Must Be Obeyed put everything in perspective as we exited the theatre.
“A blog. That’s what you leave in the toilet.”
I can heartily recommend this movie, seeing as how it concerns itself with two things that are dear to my heart: Blogging and Food. (Yes, the story is based on a real, honest-to-Gawd blog. There’s hope for us all!) The film captures subtleties such as the self-absorption of bloggers and their obsession with garnering the approval of complete strangers, as evidenced by hits and comments. Also, Meryl Streep’s evocation of Julia Child is... uncanny.
But She Who Must Be Obeyed put everything in perspective as we exited the theatre.
“A blog. That’s what you leave in the toilet.”
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
TODAY’S PITH AND VINEGAR
For some reason, She Who Must Be Obeyed was surprised to find the toilet seat down and the lid closed when she made a Nocturnal Visit to the WC.
When she got back into bed, she asked me, “Why do you close the toilet lid? Is that your way of putting it to bed for the night?”
I never thought of it quite that way...
When she got back into bed, she asked me, “Why do you close the toilet lid? Is that your way of putting it to bed for the night?”
I never thought of it quite that way...
Friday, July 31, 2009
TODAY’S PITH AND VINEGAR
Today’s Pith and Vinegar brings you a Brief Imagined Dialogue from the White House, where President Barack Obama joined Sgt. James Crowley and Professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr. yesterday evening for a few cold beers and a chance to smooth over the Great Racial Imbroglio created by Crowley’s arrest of Gates last week for disorderly conduct.
Obama: Gentlemen, I’m glad both of you agreed to meet here with me and sit down over a couple of brewskis. I firmly believe that there are no problems that Man cannot solve after having a few brewskis. Speaking of which, how do you like this beer? It’s a craft brew made especially for the White House by a Belgian guy we keep locked up in the basement.
Gates: Tastes great.
Crowley: Less filling.
Gates: Tastes great!
Crowley: Less filling!
Gates: Tastes great!!!
Crowley: Less filling!!!
Gates: Yo mama!
Crowley: You’re under arrest!
Obama: Gentlemen, I’m glad both of you agreed to meet here with me and sit down over a couple of brewskis. I firmly believe that there are no problems that Man cannot solve after having a few brewskis. Speaking of which, how do you like this beer? It’s a craft brew made especially for the White House by a Belgian guy we keep locked up in the basement.
Gates: Tastes great.
Crowley: Less filling.
Gates: Tastes great!
Crowley: Less filling!
Gates: Tastes great!!!
Crowley: Less filling!!!
Gates: Yo mama!
Crowley: You’re under arrest!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
PITH ON YOU
If you wish your status to be Legendary and Mythical,
Be sure to find yourself a Helmet that’s Pithical.
[Sometimes, Mr. Debonair
Finds something besides a Colander for to wear.]
Pith helmet courtesy of Eric.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
TODAY’S PITH AND VINEGAR
Here follows a conversation overheard by the Mistress of Sarcasm yesterday at our neighborhood pool:
Five-year-old girl #1: Did you hear that Michael Jackson died?
Five-year-old girl #2: Yes.
Five-year-old girl #1: You know, the only reason why he died is because he said “yes” to drugs.
Five-year-old girl #1: Did you hear that Michael Jackson died?
Five-year-old girl #2: Yes.
Five-year-old girl #1: You know, the only reason why he died is because he said “yes” to drugs.
Friday, June 26, 2009
TODAY’S PITH AND VINEGAR
BobG’s comment at this post got me thinking... about an idea for a Great New Reality Show.
Maroon twelve celebrity contestants on an inaccessible island. Give ’em plenty of fine food: steaks, lobster, the works. Gourmet stuff. Let ’em eat to their hearts’ content...
... and then give them a powerful laxative (Ex-Lax in the chocolate mousse, f’r instance) and a pack of Zig-Zags. Now, watch the fun begin.
It would be a real test of ingenuity.
And you, Esteemed Reader, have your own test of ingenuity: What would you call this show? Please share your best ideas in the comments.
Maroon twelve celebrity contestants on an inaccessible island. Give ’em plenty of fine food: steaks, lobster, the works. Gourmet stuff. Let ’em eat to their hearts’ content...
... and then give them a powerful laxative (Ex-Lax in the chocolate mousse, f’r instance) and a pack of Zig-Zags. Now, watch the fun begin.
It would be a real test of ingenuity.
And you, Esteemed Reader, have your own test of ingenuity: What would you call this show? Please share your best ideas in the comments.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
TODAY’S PITH AND VINEGAR
It’s practically inevitable.
Jack Nicklaus - the Golden Bear - has held most of the Big Golf Laurels these last many years, including an unmatched total of six (!) wins at the Masters.
But the day will come - how far in the future is anybody’s guess - when Tiger Woods will manage to eclipse Nicklaus’s record. And I can just picture the headlines when it finally happens...
“Woods Shits on Bear”
Jack Nicklaus - the Golden Bear - has held most of the Big Golf Laurels these last many years, including an unmatched total of six (!) wins at the Masters.
But the day will come - how far in the future is anybody’s guess - when Tiger Woods will manage to eclipse Nicklaus’s record. And I can just picture the headlines when it finally happens...
“Woods Shits on Bear”
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