Tuesday, May 23, 2006


Welcome to Carnival of the Vanities #192!

Carnival of the Vanities is the Bloggy-Sphere’s original Self-Promotional Linkfest...and since my Online Web-Journal is subtitled “Another Exercise in Self-Aggrandizement and Time-Wastage,” it was only a matter of time before it landed here. If you’re new to Blog d’Elisson, please make yourself at home. Take off your shoes, pull up a chair, root around in the Archives...whatever your pleasure.

But meantime, we have a Passel o’ Posts - 48, if I count correctly - for you to check out.

Carnival literally means “Goodbye, Meat.” It’s the last orgy of Heavy Protein Consumption and General Debauchery before the Lenten penitential season begins, a period when Christians traditionally would eschew the consumption of Meaty Foods and other rich comestibles.

Which fact suggests a Theme...

Beef Cuts

Meaty, Meaty Goodness!

So, without further ado, let’s sharpen up those Carving Knives - this Meating is called to order!

Flank SteakFlank Steak:
Current Events, Culture, and the Media

SoccerDad, who writes at the eponymous Soccer Dad and who periodically hosts Haveil Havalim (AKA Vanity of Vanities), writes a thoughtful obituary for newspaper editor and columnist A. M. Rosenthal.

At me-ander, muse casts a critical eye on C.S.I., New York and concludes that, “Naw, it ain’t.” So much for the Suspension of Disbelief, eh? Reminds me of a short-lived show from several years ago that was supposed to have taken place near Houston, Texas. The bizarre plot - it involved time-traveling cowboys (don’t ask) - was more believable than seeing mountains on the Texas Gulf Coast...

Andy Clarkson, at The Charlotte Capitalist, ponders the intimate relationship between the dreaded Bird Flu Pandemic and a much more immediate - and real - threat: the Bird Brain Pandemic that seems to be afflicting the media.

Wendy Boswell, purveyor of Snarky Gossip, examines the breakup of Paul and Heather Mills McCartney from a lyrical perspective. And just in case you’re feeling let down after yet another Bloated-Ass Television Season Finale, Wendy lobs us a post about (yawn) the ER season windup...and that yawn, by the way, is for the show, not the post.

My kitty-loving friend Rahel of Elms In The Yard writes about hearing Tommy Sands in Jerusalem and listening to him play an old, beloved song.

IRIS Blog reports that there is an epidemic of gang rape in Europe, and in Germany in particular. In reporting the shocking news that four rape suspects were set free by German justice officials (pending trial, presumably), the news media conveniently omit the fact that the suspects are Arab Muslims...and that gang rape cases have become rampant in areas with high concentrations of Arab Muslim immigrants.

Nick, the resident punster at Punny Money, shares some observations and answers some FAQ’s about that venerable TV quiz show, The Price Is Right.

The Ruminating Dude asks whether the money and support Israel receives from the United States is justified. The answer I’d give you is clearly different from his, but I’ll save the Well-Deserved Fisking for another time. It’s Carnival!

At Western Resistance, Giraldus Cambrensis has news of a Pakistani Islamist group that, in addition to blowing things up, is engaged in the business of selling Christian children as slaves.

Mensa Barbie Welcomes You...to a post about a recent conference on Islamophobia, a conference that, like so many similar Exercises in Running the Mouth, misses a few obvious issues. Like the treatment of women, f’r instance.

Politics & Schmolitics

Logy? Fatigued? Starting to think Dubya isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer? You may be suffering from CFS - Conservative Fatigue Syndrome - posits Jon Swift at his eponymous Web-Log.

Must our Congressional representatives follow the same laws we all do? There are a few who think not. Imagine: searching the office of a Congressman who is under investigation! The sheer chutzpah! Read this post by John Bambenek - the Part-Time Pundit - to learn more.

SpamProbable Processed Meat By-Products:
Business and Economics

At Stock Market Beat, Trent delivers a smackdown to Home Depot, where the monthly release of same-store sales data has been discontinued. An unfortunate development, says Trent.

Dave Porter, of the Pacesetter Mortgage Blog, cautions us against so-called Mortgage “Rescue” firms that may have...sinister ulterior motives. Like getting their hands on your property! Bwah-hah-hah-hah!

The Radical Libertarian schools us on an interesting twist on the concept of insurance: Reverse Insurance. Rather than a casino-like leveraging of risk, Reverse Insurance is a commitment by the insurer to extend a loan to the loss sufferer to cover the actual loss. Read the post for the whole skinny.

What’s more important than money? How ’bout your health - both physical and mental? That’s the position taken by Free Money Finance in their Carnival contribution.

Jim Logan takes a look at the ethics of Internet promotion, focusing on the tendency of e-zines to engage in what, for lack of a better term, is nothing so much as Mutual Masturbation: the Old Quid-Pro-Quo. And as long as we’ve uncorked the Latin, let’s throw in two more words: Caveat Emptor.

At Jim’s Cash Flow Blog, he takes on the subject of when to pay an invoice that’s never due. Helpful Hint: if you’re sending out invoices, it’s best to have a specific date upon which payment is due, rather than nebulous terms like “Payable Upon Receipt.” Extra-Special Helpful Hint: Hire someone like Gravel-Voice Larry to call your customers and offer a “gentle reminder.”

Paul’s Tips gives us Ten Good Rules-of-Thumb for Investing. Here’s one that works for me: Send all of your spare cash to Elisson. (May not work so well for you, though.)

Dan Melson at Searchlight Crusade tells us about another growing financial pitfall: Appraisal Fraud. When large amounts of money are at stake - more than most families make in several years - temptation proves to be too much for certain unscrupulous individuals. Read all about it.

Steve Mertz gives us the skinny on how to avoid key mistakes in making sales presentations. This post at Sales Presentation Training, Part 4 of 15 on the subject, talks about a novel color-coding technique. I may very well try this the next time I have to make a pitch at the Great Corporate Salt Mine!

Nubricks.com offers up five rules to follow when buying an off-plan property.

Wayne Hurlbert encourages us to share information with others. Read “Don’t hoard your knowledge” at Blog Business World. Or, as we would call it in Texas, Blog Bidnis World.

Veal CutletsVeal Cutlets:
Science, Medicine, and Technology

El Capitan, leader of that most worthy (and most likely, the only) band of Baboon Pirates, divulges some Personal Medical Information as he regales us with his Adventures with Exenatide, AKA The Life-Saving Drug Based On Gila Monster Venom. Thanks for sharing, Cap! Burning Cadillacs, and now this!

GrrlScientist, who knows all about Living the Scientific Life, tells us about a newly-discovered species of dinosaur, the scientific name of which was inspired by Harry Potter’s Alma Mater.

Leg of LambLeg of Lamb:
Religion and Philosophy

Goosing the Antithesis examines several rhetorical techniques in Argumentum ad Ridiculum, a fisking of Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron’s evangelistic attacks on evolution. (Yes, that Kirk Cameron.)

Andrew Ian Dodge, fellow podcaster and Grand Panjandrum at Dodgeblogium (say that three times fast!), comments on the impact of The DaVinci Code on the popular perception of the Roman Catholic Church. A cynic like me might say, “Aside from specific plot points, what’s the difference between the Bible and a novel anyway?” Discuss amongst yourselves.

Rump RoastRump Roast:
Writing, The Information Stoopidhighway Superhighway and the World of Blogging

The Random Yak offers up a story of Bloggy Plagiarism. Having your content hijacked by a Spamblog is bad enough...but having your content hijacked without attribution is even worse. My own two cents: Spammers and plagiarists should all roast in Gehenna, afer a painful, protracted demise caused by having to crap out ten pounds of peach pits.

Sharon Hurley Hall at Write Niche gives us a post that describes another way to get paid for blogging. Something having to do with selling advertising...

At his Musings from Brian J. Noggle site, Brian J. explains how the Internet is being used for nefarious purposes. Distributing pornographic images? No - that’s so old-school. How ’bout Dealing Drugs? Download ’em right to your desktop!

Josh Cohen, over at Multiple Mentality, talks about how the writing process is different for everyone. (Me, I just throw crap up on the ol’ Computer Monitor to see if it sticks.)

Barry Welford thinks it’s time for Google to ditch their semi-useless “I’m Feeling Lucky” button. At the BPWrap site, he proposes an alternative: the underpromoted and underutilized Google Blog Search.

Batya of Shiloh Musings introduces us to the newest blogger in town: the Grey Lady her ownself!

Beef TenderloinBeef Tenderloin:
Comestibles and Potables

Jack Cluth, of The People’s Republic of Seabrook, comes to grips with his relationship with food. Having heard the Gospel of Morgan Spurlock, Jack is taking a hard look at his present diet with Cold, Rational Eyes, and he is not happy at what he sees. Many of us would benefit from the same dietary appraisal, uncomfortable as it might be.

Personal Observations and Stories

At me-ander, muse shares a story of getting things all spiffed up around the house. Aw, just for me? Ya didn’t have to go to all that trouble!

Testing the Cultural Divide gives us a story of an evening with a Russian family in On Makeup and Language, showing us that it’s the little things that count when building bridges across cultural canyons.

At United By Yucca, exmonkey (either a Former Primate or an Expert Simian, I don’t know which) deconstructs an advertisement for the World Cup. [That’s soccer, for us benighted Americans.] The post is entitled “World cup advert bollocks,” a title for which exmonkey apologises. No need for apologies, mate...because it’s perfect.

My Bubble Life offers up a post, the premise of which was inspired by a book by David Stoop, Ph.D., entitled You Are What You Think. The premise? Anger is a valid emotion, albeit one that must be controlled. Bubs gives us a few Helpful Hints on how to achieve that control.

Jack Yoest shares a touching post by Charmaine - a story about visiting family members’ graves at Arlington National Cemetery. Here’s a taste:

“I want you to look,” I said. “I want you to understand, that each one of these headstones represents someone who gave their life so that you could be free.”

At Save The Ribble (yes, that is a real blog!), Riversider tells Tales from the Riverbank. I was tempted to say something snarky here, such as “Save the Ribbles - Collect them all, win valuable prizes!” but after reading this post, my conscience got the better of me.

Pretty Shallow advises us to Go with the Goo. What does that mean? Are you sure you really wanna know?

Velociman, despite his being Southron to the core, discusses his Extreme Distaste for a staple of Dixie Trailer-Park Dining: the Moon Pie. Any moron - myself included - can write a Food Smackdown, but V-Man turns it into a Faulkneresque meditation on life, death, and Depression-era injustice.

[Just in case you’re curious, the above Carnival entry was not submitted by its author; rather, I elected to include it. Read it and you will see why.]

Rib RoastRib Roast:
The Funny Stuff

The Limerick Savant, who, appropriately enough, operates a blog called limerick savant, offers up a Poetic Commentary on the recent NSA telephone data kerfuffle.

The Limerick Savant is funny,
And, often, he’s right on the money.
In just one poem, he’s taken
Monty Python, Kevin Bacon,
And Al Qaeda. But where is Bugs Bunny?

Miriam, who has ideas (at Miriam’s Ideas, natch), has decided that the Jews are sick and tired of running the world. Shoyn genig. Fartig! (Enough already - Finished!) Let someone else do it and have the fun of getting slapped around...

Peace Moonbeam - sounds like some kinda heepeh, don’t it? - tells the harrowing story of a PETA Party gone wrong at The Peace Moonbeam Chronicles. [Caution: Do not read this post with a mouthful of hot coffee...your crotch and/or computer monitor will thank you later.]

Not to be outdone by The Limerick Savant, Madeleine Begun Kane, at her Notables Weblog, gives us commentary and a limerick of her own - this one on the Madness of Net Neutrality Advertisements. And as if that were not enough, here’s another one, this time on the legal woes of one Representative Jefferson.

Mark A. Rayner of the skwib has discovered, somewhere in the Bowels of the Earth, the Lost PowerPoint Slides (Victoria Day Edition). We are not amused.

Catymology (the host of next week’s Carnival of the Vanities, by the way) reports on a relatively new phenomenon: that of Therapy Animals. It ain’t just Seeing-Eye Dogs anymore...

* * *

Well, that wraps up (in Butcher Paper, of course!) another edition of Carnival of the Vanities. Next week, the Carnival will be hosted by Catymology - a fellow catblogger, yet - so be sure to get those submissions in!

I agreed to be Host of the Vanities
In an unforeseen burst of insanity.
And now that I’ve deployed it,
I hope you’ve enjoyed it.
If not, just scream, “Oh, the humanity!”

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