Friday, January 20, 2006


...quoth the Perdue Chicken Man.

And all Parts is created equal.

But, as George Orwell might have said, some Parts is more equal than others.

Even if they’re not really Parts...but items parted from us.

I speak, of course, of William Shatner’s kidney stone, that self-same Stone that fetched upwards of $25,000, as reported just a few days ago. The happy owner is the online casino, with the proceeds earmarked for donation to Habitat for Humanity.

[You can’t make this shit up, folks. Had it been April 1, I would have been convinced that it was a gag. But no.]

Not a bad price for a stone. Its former place of residence in Shatner’s ureter makes this unassuming lump of calcium oxalate more valuable than a water-white diamond.

With this precedent firmly established, think of the possibilities.
  • Leonard Nimoy’s ear wax. [Given Spock’s huge ears, supplies should be more than sufficient to meet demand.]
  • Mick Jagger’s nasal mucus.
  • Michael Jordan’s toenail clippings.
  • Britney Spears’s used tampons. [SOLD]
  • Catfish’s hemorrhoid.
Heck, I might as well offer my parched, withered soul up for sale after having written this...because, like these other Objects, it is clearly a Mere Superfluity.

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