IN THE BEGINNING

It’s an old, old story, but one that bears repeating...

Seems that when God was just about done creating the universe, He noticed a couple of left-over things in his Bag o’ Creations...so he stopped by to visit Adam and Eve in the Garden.

The Eternal One found them relaxing in the shade under the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up and pee. “It’s a very handy thing,” God told them. “and I was wondering if either one of you wanted that ability.”

Adam practically popped an aneurysm, so excited was he. He jumped up and begged, “Oh, give that to me! I’d love to be able to do that! It seems just the sort of thing a Man should do. Oh please, oh please, oh pleeeease, let me be able to pee standing up! I’d be so great! When I’m working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just let it rip, and it’d be so cool. Oh please, God, let it be me who you give that gift to, let me stand and pee, oh please...” On and on he went, dancing around and hopping from one foot to another, just like an excited little boy (who had to pee).

Eve just smiled and shook her head at Adam’s little display. Well, why not? Being able to pee standing up seemed to be exactly the sort of thing that would make him happy. And so she told God that if Adam really wanted it all that badly, she really wouldn’t mind if Adam were the one given this wonderful talent.

And so it was. And it was...well, good. Adam immediately ran off to the river in order to test his Wonderful New Ability.

“Fine,” God said, looking back into his sack of Creational Leftovers for something he could give Eve. “Now, what else do we have in the ol’ Godly Goodie Bag? Oh, here’s something you might like. Multiple orgasms...”