CURSES! FOILED AGAIN...

...in my attempt to foist yet another of my inane Lists off on McSweeney’s. And since they didn’t want it, I will now shove it down the collective craws of offer it up to my Esteemed Readers:

RARELY-HEARD ALTERNATIVES TO THE INTERJECTION “CHRIST ON A CRUTCH” INVOLVING OTHER RELIGIOUS OR SPIRITUAL FIGURES

Moses on a moped

Buddha on a bicycle

Lao-Tse on a lounge chair

Dalai Lama in a Hummer

Ahura-Mazda in a Mazda

Loki in a limousine

Zeus in a Zamboni

Krishna on a krutch