ON CONDITIONAL GRATIFICATION

Of all the rules of Human Life
On this one we shall treat:
You can’t have any Pudding
If you do not eat your Meat.

“Forgoing pleasure is a chore!”
We hear our young ones bleat.
But they can’t have any Pudding
If they do not eat their Meat.

All that fat and carbohydrate
Addeth pounds to Waist and Seat:
Thus, deny yourself the Pudding
If you do not eat your Meat.

The most well-tempered appetites
Are always most discreet.
They agree: Postpone the Pudding
Until one is done with Meat.

From the noblest of Beef-Steaks
To the meanest Chicken-Feet,
The protein must have pride of place
Before dessert’s complete.

Delayed gratification
Is O, so very sweet.
That’s why we wait for Pudding
Until after we’ve had Meat.

When you’ve dined to satisfaction,
And with Meat you are replete,
Sweet Reward! At last it beckons -
Now your Pudding you may eat.

Of all the rules of Human Life
On this one we must treat:
You can’t have any Pudding
If you do not eat your Meat.