ARC LIGHT

Here’s looking at you...with a big ol’ dilated pupil.

I went in for my annual eye exam today and came out with a clean bill of health, a tweaked prescription...and dilated pupils.

During the course of the examination, my eyeballs were bathed in fluorescein dye, numbed with anesthetic - the better to permit checking my intraocular pressure without discomfort - and whatever the hell they use to dilate the pupils. This last permits the ophthalmologist to scope the entire retinal field, looking for abnormalities in the retina as well as the blood vessels feeding it.

While he’s doing all this, of course, all I see is a lot of unpleasant bright lights.

But the fun came as I went outside and walked to my car, where sat my sunglasses. It was like walking into a world illuminated by searing arc light, bright enough to be painful despite my squinting in the glare. It put me in mind of those poor damned souls in Hiroshima not quite 62 years ago. The last thing many of them saw was that searing arc light, right before their bodies turned into clouds of ash and vapor.

But me? I drove home, wearing my darkest shades.

Gawd, I love getting my annual eye exam...