Thursday, March 31, 2005


July 16 is the scheduled release date for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, the next installment in the popular series of fantasy novels by J. K. Rowling.

It will have been roughly two years since the last Potter book came out to unprecedented hype, fanfare, and ballyhoo. Thus, to welcome Harry back (as it were), I have come up with an appropriately half-assed idea for an imaginary television series.

The setup: An adult Harry Potter returns to Hogwarts to take over as Headmaster after Dumbledore’s departure. Now he has to deal with all of those unruly students...students very much like him and his friends “back in the day.” Hilarity ensues.


Harry Potter - Daniel Radcliffe

Hermione Potter - Rachel Dratch

Severus Snape - Chris Parnell


Draco Malforino - Seth Meyers

Ron Luis Pedro Phillipo de Huevos Epstein - Chris Kattan

Willy "Boom Boom" Weasley - Will Ferrell

Arnold Dingfelder Hagrid - Horatio Sanz


Welcome back,
It’s been a “spell” since you were here.
Welcome back,
Pour yourself a great big mug of butterbeer.

Well, the place hasn’t changed much since Dumbledore
Molested a kid and was shown the door.
Who’d have thought they’d get ya
(Who’d have thought they’d get ya)
Back to school, you betcha?
(Back to school, you betcha?)

Yeah, we tease him a lot, Hogwarts got ’im on the spot,
Welcome back.
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.
Lame? Sure!

Leave your own casting ideas in the Comments.

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