A MYSTERY, AT LAST REVEALED

Mystery Substance. Coin included in photo to show size.

Some of my Esteemed Readers may remember this little photo, which I posted over at Velociman’s site last week.

The only piece of information I gave out was that the Mystery Substance is not shit. Right: for to post a photograph of an actual Turd-Chunk would be nekulturny in the extreme. Most unbecoming from someone who styles himself Mr. Debonair.

Some of the speculation in the Comments was positively inspired. A sampling:

• A petrified raisin. (Eric)


• A dried-up booger. (Skwerly, Acidman, Jimbo, Joan of Argghh!)


• A chunk of hash. (Lisa, Zonker, Kelly)


• A chunk of opium. (LauraN)


• A chunk of heroin. (Dash, DogsDontPurr)


• A chunk of Desiccated Moon-Pie. (Candy)


• A hemorrhoid. (Jack Straw, Marianne)


• A kidney stone. (Maeve)

There’s more. Toe jam. A dried-up fetus. A blackhead big enough to have a name of its own. A dingleberry. A piece of desiccated umbilicus.

Velociman himself may have nailed it with his speculation that it is “Elisson’s soul, mutated by God into a size convenient enough to flick away with a mighty Finger.”

But methinks the good Capitan may have come closest to the truth.