Monday, October 03, 2005


After my experience at the Southeast Writers’ Conference with both V-Man’s Chatham Artillery Punch and my own Sazeracs, a few comments may be in order.

Each of those drinks incorporates the style of the city that spawned it.

Take the Punch. Please. It is a hotch-potch of Arcane Ingredients, none of them particularly heinous on its own, but which combine to create a beverage that is both Tasty and Deadly Serious. After a full day of drinking Chatham Artillery Punch, you may still be able to stand, but when you close your eyes, you will see the Intestines o’ Gawd. Ha Looky Nations, and’ all dat.

Like Savannah, the Punch is seductive. It sucks you in. Reminds me of that stupid-ass deodorant ad: Gentle enough for a Woman, yet strong enough for a Big, Hairy, Three-Nutted Gorilla.

The Sazerac Cocktail is different. It’s the Creole Gumbo of drinks. Gris-gris in a glass, brothah. Even as it evokes magnolia-scented evenings in pre-Katrina Crescent City, it can have you on your hands and knees, baying at the moon.

Sazeracs is scary. V-Man took one whiffa that brew and his nutsack drew up so far, it smacked the back of his head. He got a brave Missus, though, boldly going where not even Zonker has gone before; she actually drank one a them sumbitches.

Which one do I like? Hell, I like ’em both. Trick is to alternate ’em, and pace yourself so you don’t fall down and contaminate your Immediate Environment with the Whiskey Shits.

In the war between Savannah and N’Awlins, we all win.

The recipe for a Sazerac Cocktail may be found here.

Here’s one workable recipe for Chatham Artillery Punch. V-Man can correct me if I’ve left out any critical ingredients:

1-1/2 gallons Catawba wine
1-1/2 quarts rye whisky (e.g., Old Overholt, Wild Turkey Rye)
1/2 gallon St. Croix rum
1/2 pint Benedictine
1 quart gin
1 quart brandy
1-1/2 gallons strong tea
2-1/2 pounds brown sugar
Juice 1-1/2 dozen oranges
Juice 1-1/2 dozen lemons

Mix all of the above ingredients up in a suitably large vessel and let marinate together a few days to let the flavors develop. Immediately prior to serving, top off with 1/2 case of Champagne.

This recipe is sufficient to lay low an entire regiment. You may choose to reduce (or increase) the quantity proportionately, but we had the Full Monty in Helen this past weekend.

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