A VILE QUESTION

But one that simply has to be asked:

Have you ever peed in the sink?

The late Lenny Bruce once constructed a whole comedy routine around the idea of urinating in the sink. As the story would go, a young man comes home to his high-rise apartment late one night and gets the inexplicable urge to piss in the sink. Just as he is ready to let fly, his roommate hears him shuffling around in the bathroom and calls out from the other room, “Were you pissing in the sink?” It’s as if he read his friend’s mind.

“Er, ahhh - no!”

“Good. ’Cause if I ever caught you pissing in the sink, I’d have to kill you. It’s disgusting.”

Perhaps flustered at almost getting caught in the act, the young man, instead of simply going off to the toilet, now decides to climb out on the ledge outside the bathroom window and relieve himself there. But no sooner does he do this than a passerby sees him on the ledge and figures he’s going to commit suicide. Within minutes, a crowd has gathered, along with police, fire engines, firemen, and Father Flotsky, the local priest:

(In an Irish accent) “Don’t do it, son!”

“Aw, Fadduh - I was only trying to piss!”

It’s kind of stupid on the printed page, but Lenny Bruce spins this bit into comedy gold. Perverse comedy gold, but gold nonetheless.

So the question is, have you ever peed in the sink?

And if you’re female, however did you manage it?