SIMPLE STUFF SUNDAY

I don’t know about you, but Sunday night is “picky-pick” night around Chez Elisson.

That means that if She Who Must Be Obeyed and I don’t feel like ordering in Chinese, we eat whatever crap we can rustle up. Sometimes that’s cold cereal, sometimes a handful of turkey pepperoni.

What with her chewing abilities hampered by orthodontia, coupled with her need to manage Type 2 diabetes, Edible Stuff has been thin on the ground for SWMBO. Tonight, my sweetie dined on a can of Progresso chicken soup, veggie chips, and salsa.

As for me, a few veggie chips with hummus just got me started. My main course consisted of a hefty bunch of white asparagus.

The trick with white asparagus is to peel the stalks with a vegetable peeler. You can get away with not peeling green asparagus, but that white stuff is murderously fibrous if you don’t. The best way to do it is by laying the stalks on a cutting board and working your way around each stalk, starting about 2-3 inches from the base of the stalk and peeling toward the base. If you try to peel this stuff while holding the stalks in your hand, the brittle little suckers will snap and you will end up with a Random Assortment o’ Stalk Lengths.

There are lots of ways to cook asparagus. You can put it in a baking dish and smother in melted butter, then roast for 15 minutes at 450°F. Or you can steam it, which is what I did. Five minutes in the steamer, then a rinse in cold water.

Whap! On the plate, a few squirts of black truffle-infused olive oil, a sprinkle of Fleur de Sel, and Bang! The Side Dish That Eats Like A Meal™.

If that’s too Fancy-Pants, a dab of melted butter and some freshly ground black pepper are also plenty good. It’s hard to screw this up unless you overcook the stalks until they are limp.

Any guy will tell you. Limp stalk, no good.