I TRY TO OUT-YOURISH YOURISH

A recent post by Meryl Yourish reminded me that some time ago, I had posted the menu for my (imaginary) restaurant, House of Meat.

Meryl is the creator of Eat an Animal for PETA Day (EATAPETA Day), and I believe that House of Meat should be made the Official Restaurant of EATAPETA. Even if it doesn’t exist. Because sometimes the idea of meat is as important as the meat itself. Unless you’re hungry.

I’m rambling here, but it’s because I’m suffering from a mild Meat Hangover. We dined out with friends last night, and it was a Meaty Experience. Italo-Greek home cooking of the first water: braised lamb shanks, lamb saltimbocca, real old-school chicken cacciatore (you knew She Who Must Be Obeyed would not be eating that lamb, right?).

And it occurred to me as we sat at table, that to be truly worthy of being the Official Restaurant of IEAPD, House of Meat would need to add an item to its menu.

Something exotic.

Something expensive.

Something outrageous.

Something to send the PETA folks off the deep end - as if they weren’t already there.

And this is what I came up with:

Whale steaks.

But not just whale steaks. Any Norwegian restaurant can sell you a whale steak.

Baby whale steaks. Hell - fetal whale steaks. Kind of like veal, only from whales.

We could call it “wheal.” Get Real - Have Some Wheal™. Wheal™ - It’s The Real Deal.

Damn - now I’m hungry again!