[News item, 19 April 2005: Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger is elected Pope by the Conclave of Cardinals at the Vatican. Cardinal Ratzinger chooses the Papal name Benedict XVI.]
Mob enforcer Tony “Eggs” Benedict sat down on the end of the park bench, the wooden slats groaning from the weight of his 325-pound bulk. He took one last draw on his unfiltered Camel and flipped the butt to the ground, where it smoldered unnoticed.
“Haddaya like that?” Tony said, to no one in particular. “They got us a German Pope, and he goes and names himself after me!”
Later, in the quiet gloom of the confessional booth, he found out, to his distress, that his newly-shared Papal Name did not swing any weight with Father Rindisi.
Whackin’ a guy will still get you 200 Hail Marys, with 50 Our Fathers thrown in if Father R. is in a pissy mood.