Wednesday, July 08, 2009

YOU MAY ALREADY BE A WIENER:
A 100-WORD ELEGY

Oscar Mayer, whose grandfather helped found his namesake company, has gone to the Great Sausage Grinder in the Sky. He was ninety-five.

Oscar Mayer (the company) stood out from its competitors partly because of its catchy jingles... and the Wienermobile.

At Mayer’s request, the Wienermobile will not make an appearance at his sendoff: Unlike his father and grandfather before him, he wished to avoid the funerary spectacle of a car shaped like a giant Meat-Dick.

Me, if my bologna had a first name and a last name that matched mine, I’d want that Wienermobile at my funeral. As the hearse.

No comments: