Monday, July 13, 2009

A MODEST PROPOSAL... solve the two most critical issues that plague the estate and family of the late Michael Jackson.

Those issues? What to do with Jackson’s three offspring, and how to deal with the mountain of debt that he left behind.

The children - Prince Michael Joseph, 12, Paris Michael, 11, and Prince Michael II, a.k.a “Blanket,” 7 - have never known a normal life. They have no real friends; they have never attended a day of school. They have been zealously guarded and protected all their lives, in what was perhaps the most rational act of their colossally famous daddy.

A little normalcy might be just the ticket for them. They need to be part of a loving family, a family that resides somewhat closer to the mainstream of American life.

And the debt issue? Various sources place the estate’s red ink at about $500 million. There are enough assets in the estate to pay off that debt, but to do so would require a massive liquidation in a difficult economic environment. Not the best answer... but an answer must be found. And I have one.

My modest proposal?

Auction off the children on eBay. Use the proceeds to pay off the estate’s debt.

They’ll have to be sold as a single unit. Separating them would be cruel and inhumane. Plus, they’re probably worth more as package deal anyway.

Any prospective buyers would need to be carefully screened. We don’t want these kids ending up as sex slaves in a Saudi brothel - we want ’em to have warm, welcoming homes.

Preferably very far away from Grandpa Joe.

No comments: