GEHOCKTEH LEBER

Or, as most of us know it, chopped liver.

It’s Passover, which means - among other things - that it’s Chopped Liver Time at Chez Elisson. Sadly, I am the only one in this household who will touch the stuff, but in a way, that’s good: more for me.

This year, I took advantage of the duck schmaltz I had sitting in the freezer. In fact, I had been saving it for just this occasion.

To make your own Gehockteh Leber, you will need the following:

1 lb chicken livers
2 cups chopped onion
2 hard-boiled eggs
5 tbsp schmaltz

Take your chicken livers and devein them as best you can. Take a goodly tablespoon of schmaltz (chicken, or duck if ya got it) and sauté the livers at medium-high heat until they’re cooked through. Set the livers aside on a plate.

[If you really want to be hardcore, render your own chicken fat to make schmaltz. The crispy little cracklings that are left over - gribenes - make a terrific High-Cholesterol Snack by themselves - better yet, add them to the livers. Yow!]

Now take about four tablespoons of schmaltz and, over medium heat, cook the onions down until they just begin to develop some color. You want ’em lightly caramelized, but not burnt.

When the onions are done, throw ’em in a food processor with the livers. Pulse a few times until the livers and onions are well-mixed. Be careful not to overprocess, though, as you don’t want a texture like Portland cement. If you prefer, use a mezzaluna - and plenty of elbow grease - to chop everything up. The texture can range from smooth (not too smooth!) to moderately coarse - your preference.

Chop the hard-boiled eggs well (I use a hand-chopper) and then combine with the liver-onion mixture using a wooden spoon. Season well with freshly ground black pepper and salt. If the mixture is too dry, add more schmaltz as needed.

Chill and serve with matzoh. This stuff is great washed down with lashings of Kosher-for-Passover slivovitz - plum firewater brandy, which helps to dissolve the vast amounts of cholesterol from the lining of your arteries. Heh.

Any liver lover will tell you: If you’re suffering from Iron-Poor Blood, Gehockteh Leber beats the crap out of Geritol...tastes great, too!