Wednesday, April 06, 2005


It’s National Poetry Month, and Shafer Hall has reminded me that Maureen’s NaPoWriMo challenge is to write a poem a day during the month.

I am off to a late start, but this sounds like fun. Lazy bastard that I am, I will probably just pull a few pieces out of my Magnum Opus, Can’t Get No Verse; The Mostly Trivial Poetry of Elisson and slap ’em up on Bd’E when I get the urge.

Here’s one - apologies to Ogden Nash, who is defunct and thus in no condition to be offended, amused, or flattered in any event - to get you going:

Have You Eaten Yet? I Thought Not

In the supermarket I am no stranger,
But I must warn you of a serious danger.
When you prepare to go to the supermarket,
Heed my warning, or, in other words, hark it:
If you go food shopping without having had your daily ration,
You are placing yourself in a hazardous situation.
Yes, you are liable to purchase unnecessary items such as Mallomars or Tang
When, upon pushing your cart down the aisle, you feel a hunger pang.
When you’re waiting to hear the dinner bell,
Why, every single thing on the shelf looks swell.
Your poor empty stomach thinks it’s found Utopia
While your cart gets piled up like a Thanksgiving cornucopia.
Not even the cleaning supplies are immune -
If you’re hungry enough, you may be tempted to soak a sponge in Log Cabin syrup and eat it with a spoon.
Having a simple meal before shopping can save your checking account a lot of grief,
Because if you’re not famished when you shop, you’re more likely to buy a chicken or two instead of a side of beef.
And if you want to avoid having a food budget like the national debt of several European countries,
Don’t EVER go food shopping with a case of the mounchries.

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