Sunday, April 15, 2007


Election Season of 2036 was the most grueling one in years.

All throughout the primaries, even unto the finals, the competition had never been so difficult, the Judges so capricious and exacting, the electorate so fickle. But now it was down to the wire: only two candidates remained, on this, the final night of the Election.

Each one, in his turn, stood on the stage at the Kodak Theatre.

Each one had to decide: Should I sing of guns, or butter? Or should I appeal to good old-fashioned patriotism and trot out one of the Old Standards? “God Bless America” had helped elect President Taylor in 2028...

The Supreme Court rendered its verdict on each candidate almost immediately. It didn’t take long, the court now numbering three Justices.

And now, the voting. The electorate flocked to its telephones, logging over 70 million ballots. Sure, it was only 20% of the population, but until the Election Reform Acts of 2024, voter participation had fallen below 5%. Back then, nobody had given a Rat’s Ass anymore. Electoral college? Proportional representation? The traditional two-party system? All of them had been dying on the vine.

But things were different today, in a new, revitalized America, where the progress of each and every candidate was water-cooler talk for months as Election Season ground forward. People actually cared about who would run the country!

The two candidates stood at the center of the stage. The lights dimmed as Speaker of the House Ryan Seacrest Jr. strode to the microphone. Suddenly, a spotlight pierced the darkness of the theatre and settled on Munson Jones, the Democrat-Rock Anthem candidate.

“America voted...and you are the next American President!”

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