Saturday, April 14, 2007


Start with one Weetabix biscuit.

Weetabix may look like Shredded Wheat upon cursory examination, but any resemblance is purely superficial. Unlike Shredded Wheat, which retains its Brillo-like texture after being immersed in milk, Weetabix instantly breaks down to a mushy goo reminiscent of Portland cement, or wet shredded newspapers. But tastier.

Add some Grape Nuts. The late Euell Gibbons used to say that Grape Nuts tasted like wild hickory nuts. I think he was full of shit, but no matter. They’re crunchy, and they add a certain “tooth” to the goopy milk-Weetabix sludge.

Throw in some dried fruit. I use dried blueberries, apricots, and orange-essence prunes. Sure, they make for a Happy Bowel - especially when combined with all that cereal - but I add ’em for the flavor. And antioxidants. Really.

Soak well with milk. I use 2%. Anything lighter and it may as well be water.

Now pour a cup of freshly-brewed coffee and enjoy your Weekend Morning Breakfast. Aaahhhh.

Cereal & Coffee

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