Saturday, March 04, 2006

KEYS TO THE CANDY STORE

My friend Mr. Dax Montana is playing a dangerous game.

Today is Moving Day, when he and the lovely Priscilla are relocating. I will say naught about the singularly well-timed attack of back and/or leg pain that may render him incapable of doing much Heavy Lifting, except to say that it is either bad timing or an exceptionally well-planned infirmity. Taking powerful medicaments and directing one’s relatives as they schlep your boxes? Genius, sheer genius.

But Dax will be without his internet hookup for the time being, and to a Bloggity Person, that is a little like a crackhead going cold turkey. Like Dracula overdrawn at the Blood ’n’ Lymph Savings and Loan.

And so it is that he has asked several Blown-Eyed Perverts Blodgers to take up his Bloggy Baton. Myself included.

It’s a risky tactic, for sure. Some of us have little in the way of Moral Scruples. Nothing to hold us back, for example, of telling lurid tales of Unconventional Penetrations. Nothing to keep us from posting Heinous Photoshops. Nothing, in short, to keep us from...wait a minnit. Dax already does all that crap.

Dax’s regular customers know that he is a Master of Misdirection. He will write a post that sends you careening in one direction, then switches back abruptly into a completely different realm of weirdness. So perhaps it is time to play turnabout. Maybe a few recipes? Naw, Dax already does that.

How about Fluffy Big-Eyed Kittyblogging? Now, that ought to strike terror into Ursus Daxus.

But Dax has insurance. Nobody will dare to stick it to him too viciously.

For he gots da Mad Photoshop Skillz, and that is a Force to be Reckoned With.

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