Velociman has thrown down the gauntlet, and I respond:
You can have your wimp-ass colanders, thems what you use to drain off the limp, boiled strands of cheap pasta you cook, thereafter to be dressed with mayonnaise or ketchup or whatever passes for Pasta Sauce in your crib.
But now you must deal with Colander Borg-Man.
Fuck tinfoil hats. We gots us some Colanders!