Every time I arrive in Houston and ride the bus to the rental car center to pick up my Vehicle o’ th’ Week, I cringe. No, wait. I don’t cringe. I grit my teeth and get pissed off.
Because every stinking time, I have to listen to that stupid recorded announcement that starts off, “For your safety, and those around you...”
Good Gawd. Do these cretins speak English?
American English, Canadian English, English English, any kind of English, no matter. The correct expression is, “For your safety, and the safety of those around you...” Or perhaps, “For your safety, and that of those around you...”
Am I being pedantic? Picky? Neurotic, even? Perhaps...but that frickin’ announcement just frosts my stindeens (to borrow an expression).
And tonight, my stindeens were frosted even more...by the idiot bus driver, who spent the entire five-minute journey from terminal to rental car center with a cell phone glued to his ear. For my safety, no doubt...and that of those around me.
Which totaled exactly one person, since I was the only passenger on the bus. Which meant that I had to listen to this yutz rattle on and on, hoping that at least a few of his brain cells were handling the Bus-Driving Heavy Lifting.