Friday, October 19, 2007


Mea culpa.
Mea culpa.
Mea maxima culpa.

Guilty as charged.

I refer, of course, to the post “On the Virtues of Primitive Weaponry,” which prominently featured several Blown-Eyed Blodgers standing by the Chattahoochee River bearing shovels. A dig, if you will, at the Straight White Guy.

The photograph looks innocuous enough, but careful examination reveals that T1G’s face has been Photoshopped onto someone else’s body. A body with painted toenails and generous kalamatunis, in fact...Erica’s.

My Esteemed Readers should be aware that, while I took the photograph and Photoshopped it, the entire inspiration - for the photo as well as the Photoshop - came exclusively from the imagination of Sam Moore.

Sam conceived the idea. I executed it, as we had planned - and then I ran and posted it here, rather than sending it to him so that he could execute the rest of his Nefarious Plan. I blew it. Schmucks “R” Us.

Yes, I came up with the accompanying poem and the image of Shovel-Eric on my own, and added those elements...but that doesn’t mitigate the seriousness of my action. I stole Sam’s idea, and - even worse - only gave him credit in the comments, not on the face of the post.

That’s called Reprehensible Bloggy Conduct, friends, and I am thoroughly ashamed of my actions. What was I thinking? If I could, I’d blame the punch, but that’d be chickenshit. No: I did it.

I can’t even explain it. Besides, people who try to justify assholish behavior are, well, assholes. [The first rule of holes is, when you’re in one, stop digging. By extension, the first rule of assholes is, when you are one, stop being one.]

Perhaps the saddest thing about this whole mess is that it earned me a well-deserved boot in the ass from Zonker, a person whose respect and good opinion I value highly...and which, I fear, I may have lost forever. Yes, it took a Commentary Smackdown from Thunderman to wake my sorry ass up. Unblogmanlike Conduct in the extreme.

The Internet tends to foster a casual attitude toward intellectual property, but most of us know where the boundaries are. And instead of gingerly sticking my toe over the line, I jumped over it, with my entire Fat Ass.

No post, however humorous, is worth losing the respect of good friends...a respect which I hope I have not permanently damaged by my ill-considered conduct. My deepest apologies go to Sam; to Zonker, who so eloquently indicted me in the comments; and to the rest of my Esteemed Readers.

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