Monday, September 03, 2007


We were watching the Teevee News, which featured a report on a Montreal artist/psychopathic inventor who is constructing (I am not making this up) a 968-foot-long floating banana that he plans to launch in Mexico, allowing the prevailing winds to carry over Texas at an altitude of 30 miles.

Even at that altitude, it will be visible from the ground, appearing to be about a fifth the diameter of the full moon.

One could legitimately wonder what the good citizens of Texas will do when they discern that their airspace has been violated by a Giant Mexican Banana. Hey, the Houston Space Center is right there in the probable flight path. Perhaps they will arrange to fire a rocket laden with peanut butter and white bread. Elvisize that sumbitch. Yeah!

In the context of the story, there was a shot of the football stadium at the University of Texas. Darrell K. Royal – Texas Memorial Stadium is humongous, currently seating 85,123 and with plans in place that will boost capacity to over 90,000 for next year’s season.

I saw that image – over fourscore thousand screaming fans – and sagely observed to She Who Must Be Obeyed (a University of Texas alumna), “Compared to that stadium, Princeton’s is just a fart in a windstorm.”

Yes, Esteemed Readers: Everything is bigger in Texas.

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