Friday, June 01, 2007


I used to have a friend from Picayune, Mississippi. A real Cajun boy. Rassled alligators for money on the weekends, that sort of thing. Would eat damned near anything. And that fact is important.

Once we got lost in the bayous in a jonboat. Utterly lost. Crossed state lines lost. Serpents were falling into the boat, but we only had a .22 pistol, and needed the ammo, so the snakes had to be grasped and tossed overboard.

I saw ZZ Top in 1973 with this fellow at The Warehouse in New Orleans. Billy Gibbon was so young he didn't even have a beard yet. Anyhoo, this fellow once felt something slimy and sinewy every time he took a shit. Weird, he said. So he finally timed it right, and reached down and tore off a three-foot piece of tapeworm out of his anus. The doctor had to give him some kind of emulsion to purge the other three feet.

But still: to reach up the crack of your ass, and to snap off a three foot piece of ass-snake?? How fucking cool is that? I've eaten a lot of sushi since he told me that story, but, alas, no luck. No tapeworm. Hope springs eternal, though. Yea, verily, sonnies.

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