BESSIE

I know a gal named Bessie Mae Mucho
Bessie Mae Mucho, escucho mi corazón:
Bessie Mae, Bessie Mae Mucho,
When I am near you, I fear you will stiffen my bone.

She has a rack, my Bessie Mae Mucho,
A pair of pechugas as “hugas” you ever could know.
Bessie Mae, Bessie Mae Mucho,
Your décolletage is so large, I cannot let you go.

Others may question your virtue,
And they try to hurt you -
Perhaps break your heart.
Just ’cause you got big honkin’ yobbos
It don’t mean those slobbos
Should think you’re a tart.

Bessie Mae, she’s no Rhodes Scholar,
They say the lights are on, but there is nobody home.
Bessie Mae, Bessie Mae Mucho,
But you are fun, so I’ll run to get you on the phone.

[Sung to the tune of “Bésame Mucho”]