Sunday, November 26, 2006


“Sparky” Johnson, the town electrician
Would, at night-time, perform micturition
’Til his stream, in the dark
Struck a wire - and the spark
Taught him that he should look where he’s pishin’!

Do you like to live dangerously?

Is “Risk” your middle name? Are you the kind of poker player who’ll go all-in without even a peek at your hole cards?

Try this, Mr. Big Shot James Bond 007.

Wake up in the morning with the usual bladderful of hot, steaming piss. Head straight for the bathroom.

You don’t want to turn on the light: that’d hurt your delicate Eye-Bones.

You don’t want to sit down to pee: that’d mark you eternally as a Girly-Man.

No, what you do is stand up in front of the Porcelain Receptacle and uncoil the ol’ John Thomas, take aim and let fly. In the dark.

You’ll know right away if you’re screwing up, thanks to your finely honed sense of Pee-Sonar. Simply listen while you’re pissin’. Splashing of pee-stream in deep water is good. Splashing of pee-stream against porcelain bowl is acceptable. Splashing of pee-stream against bowl-rim is not so good.

Splashing of pee-stream against toilet tank or (horrors!) bathroom wall means you screwed up Big-Time. Be prepared to get out the towels and Lysol.

But it’s all about risk, innit? And allowing your eyes to adapt gradually to the daytime environment.

Try Wee-Wee Roulette today!

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