Thursday, September 28, 2006

WARM AND FUZZY - NOT


Mr. Sluggo.

While visiting the East Coast last week, our friends Laura Belle and Don happened upon this cute little feller, hard by the Jersey shore. The car key fob is shown to provide a size comparison.

Slugs aren’t everyone’s idea of a Top-Notch Pet, but they have to be at least as much fun as hermit crabs. Certainly, they’re easy to keep up with. You don’t have to chase a wayward slug around the house. They’re slow (in fact, they are downright sluggish), and they leave a handy trail of Slug-Mucus that makes it easy to track ’em.

You say you don’t like slugs? How ’bout this friendly little feller?


Mr. Cocky-Roach.

Here’s what was waiting for me in the shower stall this evening upon my return from dinner.

Whether you call him a Tree Roach, blattidae americanus (the American cockroach), a palmetto bug, archy, or just a Motherfucking Humongous Gawd-Damned Cocky-Roach, he is Not Welcome In My Habitation, oh, no.

Normally, we don’t see a lot of these Big Guys, but this year seems to be an exception: I’ve spotted three in one month. It almost feels like Houston or New Orleans. [Say, could these be Gulf Coast evacuees?]

Most times, they’re already dead when I find ’em, thanks to Frequent Applications of Deadly Chemicals. This one was comatose, managing a few half-hearted wriggles as I picked him up and sent him swirling down the White Porcelain Flume Ride from which no roach has ever returned.

Gaaaah!

Quick! Bring me a small mammal to comfort me!

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