Saturday, June 18, 2005


In which Random Idiots write in for advice from Mr. Smart-Brains.

Our question today is from a Mr. Ricardo Cabeza:
Dear Mr. Smart-Brains,

How did you get that honkin’ big knot on your head?
Dear Mr. Cabeza,

Simple. I had gone out to run a few Miscellaneous Errands. Upon returning, I decided to leave the car in the driveway, since I was planning to head out again in a little while. But since I don’t generally carry the house keys with me, I opened the garage door to get in, using the handy-dandy Electronic Garage-Door Opening Schmitchik.

Once I got into the garage, I started the door to closing, then realized I needed to get the mail. So I pushed the button to stop the door’s downward progress, and since it was mostly open, I just left it that way, ducking my head slightly to exit.

I got the mail and started thumbing through the usual Assortment o’ Junk as I walked back up the driveway. Must’ve been really fascinating junk, too, because the next thing I knew, WHACK! I had clocked myself a good one by walking directly into the door, the lower edge of which was just above eye level.


There’s a silver lining in this Cloud of Stupidity, though. I didn’t smash my new set of eyeglasses, I was still conscious, and I was not bleeding.

And as stupid as I felt, I did not feel as stupid as this guy must have when a similar event befell him.

Now: any more questions for Mr. Smart-Brains?

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