Documentation of my seemingly abnormal Road Trip Bathroom Adventures of Winter 2004:
Why is it that people find Dairy Queen bathrooms an appropriate environment in which to shoot up? Who knows?
Why do people find it necessary to wipe their asses and then dispose of the used paper in the trash can next to the toilet, as opposed to IN the actual toilet? Who knows?
Apparently the Dairy Queen patron mentioned above was only following instructions, according to the astonishing Manager’s Note I found in my stall at a Louisiana DQ on the second leg of my trip:
What the fuck?
Please do not put ANY toilet paper
or ANYTHING in the toilets.
The next pit stop luckily involved no alarming signs; however, it was not lacking in the “Large Black Man Entering The Women’s Bathroom, Taking One Look At Me, And Screaming ‘SHIT’ For Thirty Seconds Straight” department. Again...what the fuck?
Ahh, how I love road trips, and how grateful am I that I was blessed with such a miniscule bladder that I have the opportunity to be exposed to situations such as these as often as I am.