Here’s a Tall Tale courtesy of my very own Auntie Zelda. It’s an old chestnut, but it cracked me up first time I heard it...still does...
The scene opens with three guys of varied ethnicity [a prerequisite of this kind of story - E.] enjoying a drink together at the bar and bragging of their sexual prowess.
The Italian said, “Last week, my wife and I had great sex. I rubbed
her body all over with Tuscan extra-virgin olive oil, we made passionate love, and she screamed for five full minutes at the end.”
The Frenchman boasted, “Ça ne fait rien. Last week when my wife and I had sex, I rubbed her body all over with the finest Normandy butter. We then made passionate love and she screamed for fifteen minutes.”
The Jewish guy said, “Dus iz goornisht. Last week my wife and I also had sex. First I rubbed her body all over with chicken schmaltz. Then we made love, and she screamed for over six hours.”
The other two were stunned.
The amazed Frenchman asked, “Chicken schmaltz, my eye. What could you possibly have done to make your wife scream for six whole hours?”
The Jewish guy said, “I wiped my hands on the bedspread...and then I wiped my dick on the drapes.”
[OK, so I may have modified it slightly.]
The scene opens with three guys of varied ethnicity [a prerequisite of this kind of story - E.] enjoying a drink together at the bar and bragging of their sexual prowess.
The Italian said, “Last week, my wife and I had great sex. I rubbed
her body all over with Tuscan extra-virgin olive oil, we made passionate love, and she screamed for five full minutes at the end.”
The Frenchman boasted, “Ça ne fait rien. Last week when my wife and I had sex, I rubbed her body all over with the finest Normandy butter. We then made passionate love and she screamed for fifteen minutes.”
The Jewish guy said, “Dus iz goornisht. Last week my wife and I also had sex. First I rubbed her body all over with chicken schmaltz. Then we made love, and she screamed for over six hours.”
The other two were stunned.
The amazed Frenchman asked, “Chicken schmaltz, my eye. What could you possibly have done to make your wife scream for six whole hours?”
The Jewish guy said, “I wiped my hands on the bedspread...and then I wiped my dick on the drapes.”
[OK, so I may have modified it slightly.]
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