Monday, June 19, 2006


Tomorrow is the day She Who Must Be Obeyed has dreaded for the past two years.

After almost a year and a half of orthodontia to correct a non-obvious but destructive-to-the-teafizz overbite, it is now time for the next Great Leap Forward in the treatment plan: the mandibular orthognathic extension.

Those fitty-cent words all lined up in a row mean just this: the surgeon will go in, slice SWMBO’s jawbone on both sides, and slide the front end forward a few millimeters. Screws and plates will hold the jawbone in position while it heals. The only outward evidence will be a couple of Frankensteinian bolts barely-visible stitches in one spot on the jawline on either side. It’s complicated enough to require an overnight stay in the hospital.

After this mess heals up, another six to nine months of orthodontics oughta do it.

The good Doctor has said that there is but a 1% chance that SWMBO’s jaw will need to be wired shut. But chewing will be out of the question for a while. Thus it is that we are armed with a handy little booklet: Dinner Through A Straw. Yeef.

We are confident in our surgeon’s abilities. He is the official Maxillofacial Surgeon to the Atlanta Thrashers, and anybody can tell you that the NHL is the King of the High-Risk Sports Leagues when it comes to Getting Your Teeth and Jawbones Smacked Around. Were he the official Maxillofacial Surgeon to the PGA, on the other hand, nobody would be queued up trying to make appointments, am I right?

If you care to throw out a prayer or a wish for a Speedy Recovery, please keep Dena Freida bat Zissel Esther in your thoughts.

I just know my SWMBO will be up - and smiling! - in no time...kayn ayin hora.


We arrived at Crawford Long Hospital at 5:30 this morning; SWMBO was wheeled into the OR at 7:30. At 11:05, our surgeon came out to deliver the news: “She did beautifully.” Everything went according to plan.

The Missus is now resting more-or-less comfortably, thanks in part to a hefty morphine drip, and she is able to take liquids and soft stuff (Jell-O, lemon ice) by mouth. I’ll be heading back in the morning to take her home. Thanks to all of my Esteemed Readers for your prayers and good wishes - they mean a lot to both of us!

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