THURSDAY NIGHT OUT

Most Thursday nights, I’ll join the Minyan Boyz for a quick evening service, followed by dinner. It’s a Local Tradition of sorts.

Last night She Who Must Be Obeyed decided to blow off her Water Aerobics class and join us. A lot of people must have been thinking the same way, because we had a larger than normal group for dinner - a full sixteen of us. What with the logistics of seating such a large crowd on short notice, our choice of restaurants was narrowed down to a mere handful. I suggested one of the local Pizza Joints, and the group consensus fell right in line.

This particular restaurant does a respectable New York-style pizza, so I split a large pie with Dennis R., an individual who shares some of my perverse taste in food. Perverse, yes: for we ordered a cheese pizza with anchovies and garlic.

The upside about a Cheese Pizza with Anchovies and Garlic is that you will never be molested by vampires after eating one. The downside, of course, is that you are equally unlikely to be molested by your long-suffering Loving Spouse.

It would be bad enough if the Missus had only to deal with the pungent Garlic and Cooter-Fish Breath that ensued...but there is also the pernicious effect that garlic has on my gastrointestinal tract.

Without being too indelicate, let us simply state that SWMBO was treated to a musical evening...courtesy of the Elisson Chamber Pot Orchestra.

Music hath charms to soothe the savage breast,
But “Tuchus Toccatas” may not be the best.
Sphinctural Symphonies irritate the spouse,
Impelling her (perhaps) to toss me out the house.
Face it, my friends: very little lovin’
Comes to him who maketh the Dutch Oven.