PORTRAIT IN GRAVEL

Some of my Esteemed Readers may recall a few of my posts in which I refer to Gravel-Voice Larry, one of the Minyan Boyz. Larry, a retired Miami cop, has the kind of voice that is very much in demand by people in the collections business, on account of it is cheaper, easier, and more effective to hire Larry to call a deadbeat on the phone than it is to have a couple of goons break his legs. One or two words out of Larry, and these guys will sell their children and whore out their mothers to make the nut.

Larry has been a mite puny lately, having suffered a coronary about seven weeks ago. He’s home recovering from bypass surgery; the rest of the Minyan Boyz are anxiously awaiting his return to his Third Base position in the chapel infield.

Larry, like another of our Minyan Boyz, has had his fifteen minutes of fame. In his case it was more like five seconds - an extremely brief appearance in the 1960 Jerry Lewis classic, The Bellboy.

Yeah, I know. Jerry Lewis classic - it’s a wee bit oxymoronic, like “jumbo shrimp.” But The Bellboy is something unique - it’s a Jerry Lewis movie - without Dean Martin - that showcases most of the shtick that made Lewis famous. I was surprised to find that I actually enjoyed it, albeit in a clinical sort of way. You know - when you find yourself thinking, “OK, this is the famous ‘Make-Believe I’m Conducting The Orchestra’ bit.” The humor is surprisingly...surreal, not what you would expect from a vintage-1960 film.

But we were talking about Larry, who, thanks to his real-life gig as a Miami cop, got cast as an extra. There’s a scene near the end of the movie when Jerry Lewis’s character drives to the airport and pulls up in front of the terminal, nearly running down a Police Officer in the process. The officer, arms akimbo, seems ready to deliver a scathing lecture, but Jerry runs off before Mr. Policeman can do much more than shake his finger at him.

That’s Larry - Mr. Airport Policeman.

And, thanks to the Miracle of TiVo, you can see Gravel-Voice Larry in action:


Gravel-Voice Larry meets Jerry Lewis.

Ain’t technology wonderful?