ON MARKETING

Enroute to Savannah Friday evening with our friends Gary and JoAnn, we stopped near Reidsville to purchase a few Tasty Beverages...and to unload the Tasty Beverages we had consumed earlier.

Me, I had no need for a pit-stop, thanks to my Camel-Like Bladder Capacity. But Gary and the ladies availed themselves of the facilities.

I don’t know what is it about small-town filling stations along the Interstate, but it seems that they feel an obligation to ensure that all female patrons have a chance to purchase sex toys, and that all male patrons have the opportunity to load up on condoms - at least, based on the vending machines in the various rest rooms. What do they expect motorists to do? “C’mon, Myrna - let’s stop at th’ BP - we’ll take a whiz, we’ll get us some beef jerky, some rubbers and one a them ee-lectrical butt plugs, and then we’ll go over to the back of the Shoney’s parking lot and fuck our brains out.”

Right.

But here’s the thing that caught Gary’s eye: the vending machine’s offerings included slim-fit condoms.

It struck both of us that the person who thought this particular product line up was not much of a marketer. Who the hell would admit to needing slim-fit condoms?

On the other hand, it took a good marketer to come up with the concept of Trojan Magnum condoms. Magnum! Why, the very name implies a huge load! Yowza!

But a really great marketer would sell slim-fit condoms in the Trojan Magnum package. That way, when Average Joe (who in his heart believes himself to be Big Johnson) wraps the salami and finds the fit of the Protective Sheath to be somewhat snug, he will secretly be pleased with the Enormous Dimensions of his Personal Meat, never suspecting that he is cramming his average-to-small dick into an Undersized Rubber. Result: Happy customer for life.

Now, that’s Really Geat Marketing...and remember, you read it here first.