A PECULIARLY VILE, YET TASTY, LUNCHEON

Take a couple of corn tortillas.

Nuke ’em in the microwave for about 30 seconds to soften ’em up.

Now getcha a couple of wedges of Laughing Cow Light Cheezoid Material. [I used the Original Swiss flavor ’cause it was handy, but the Garlic & Herb would have served nicely as well.] Spread ’em over the warm tortillas.

Open a can of sardines. Drain well. Divide the sardines between the two Cheesy Tortillas.

Now, roll them bad boys up and eat. Think of ’em as Fishy Burritos con Queso.

Your breath will, as the Mistress of Sarcasm might say, “smell like ass” the rest of the day, but so what? Sometimes one must suffer for the sake of Art...and Fine Cuisine.

To be honest, I don’t know what inspired me to make this, aside from the desperation born of an abiding hunger coupled with an aversion for doing any serious Kitchen Work in the middle of the day. But it was vaguely reminiscent of one of the Lunchbox Horrors my mother (of Blessèd Memory) would inflict upon me from time to time: the Sardine and Cream Cheese Sandwich on Wonder Bread. Sounds heinous, no? Fact is, those sammitches were pretty damn tasty, the only really horrific thing about them being the Wonder Bread.

Laughing Cow cheese and sardines on a frickin’ tortilla. How can something so wrong taste so right?