Monday, February 21, 2005


To the Phishing, Spamming Asshole Who Sent Me The Offishul-Looking e-Mail Purportedly From eBay -

Dear Putz:

If you’re going to the trouble of sending out phishing e-mails that are supposedly being sent out by eBay to warn members that their registration is being suspended, please take the trouble to write your stupid-ass scammerama in proper English.

This simply will not do:
Dear eBay Member,
We regret to inform you that your eBay account has been suspended due to the violation of our site policy below:
False or missing contact information - Falsifying or ommiting your name, address, and/or telephone number (including use of fax machines pager numbers, modems or disconnected numbers).
Due to the suspension of this account, please be adviced you are prohibited from using eBay in any way. This prohibition includes the registering of new account. Please note that any seller fees due to eBay will immediatly become due and payable. eBay will charge any ammounts you have not previosly disputed to the billing method currently on file.

I’ve boldfaced the spelling errors. There is also at least one missing comma. Oh, wait - there’s more! At the bottom of the e-mail, you’ve got:
You are required to verify your eBay account by following link below:

Hmm, seems to be missing a “the” between “following” and “link.”
And the close:
Trust and safety Department
eBay Inc.

Whoopsie! Forgot to cap that “S.”

Honestly, Mr. Asshole. Do you really think you’re going to fool anyone with this amateurish piece of shit? I mean, you got the logotypes right, and you spoofed the headers and all that, and then you go and screw it up with your execrable language skills. Sad...sad.

Now you just go back and take a few more of those English classes. Ninth grade’s a bitch, but stick with it. And, oh yeah - fuck you to death.

Best regards,

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