Thursday, February 24, 2005


Lair Simon, the twisted genius responsible for The IFOC Dead Pool, somehow manages to hold down a day job while posting reams of content, both on the Dead Pool site and on his main blog, This Blog Is Full Of Crap. Not to mention his catcams, and Carnival of the Cats, et cetera. I get carpal tunnel syndrome just from thinkin’ about it, I tell ya.

The Dead Pool is perhaps a tad morbid for those of my Esteemed Readers with delicate sensibilities, but, hey, even She Who Must Be Obeyed - who is famously unwilling to deal with Mortality-Related Matters - asks me, when someone famous keels over, whether anyone had that person on their Dead Pool Roster.

What with the recent demise of Hunter S. Thompson, Sandra Dee, John Raitt, among other notables - none of whom were on my Dead Pool Roster, by the way - I have been visiting that site regularly to drop the occasional tidbit. And this little Slice o’ Bloggerel. Enjoy.

* * *

O, don’t ask for whom the bell tolls,
Perhaps it tolls for thee.
And if you’re on my Dead Pool roll,
Oh, Boy! More points for me!

We have a finite time to spend
Upon this happy Earth.
And when that time comes to its end,
What score will you be worth?

Start with One Hundred Twenty Five,
And then subtract your years:
That is, your age when Not Alive.
(The age each of us fears.)

Take you the difference, then, to get
Your IFOC Dead Pool Score.
A solo shot? Good show, you bet!
Just add - yes! - thirty more.

So as the Reaper swings his scythe,
Collecting all them dead souls,
Sit back and watch your totals rise!
Don’t ask for whom the bell tolls!

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