Thursday, May 28, 2009


...but when you do so, be sure to wear your knee-high leather boots, in the event you should come upon one of these guys:


John - Donnie Joe’s brother - lives just a few miles north of us. He heard something rustling in the bushes and went out to investigate, and this is what he found. There followed a telephone call to Donnie Joe, paraphrased below...

“Hey, Donnie Joe - I found a snake in our yard!”

“Was it black?”

“No, it was brown, with a kind of pattern...”

“Holy crap - that’s a copperhead! It’s venomous - stay the fuck away from it!”

[Note: I have taken a few liberties here. Donnie Joe would never say “holy crap” or “fuck” in a telephone conversation with his brother. But if I had been on the phone... well, you get the idea.]

John is not the kind of person who willingly allows Dangerous Reptiles to make camp on his property. The landscape guys were working on his yard, conveniently enough, so he had one of them dispatch it with the edge of a shovel. The PETA folks may gripe, but tough toenails. You do NOT want the neighborhood kids stumbling upon one of these.

And besides, the meat’s tasty. Like chicken. Chicken that’s been crawling around on its belly all its life.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

That's a harmless Northern Water Snake.