Sunday, May 10, 2009

NEWS OF THE WEIRD

Ever wonder what Donald Duck asks for at the tattoo parlor? Wonder no more.

Donald, of course, is the pre-eminent avatar of syndactyly - fused toes. He’s a duck, fercryinoutloud. But people turn up with webbed feet too... and not all of them live in Louisiana.

He cannot get a nipple ring. He’s a duck, fercryinoutloud, and nipples are a privilege extended only to us mammals. And earrings, or those loathsome tin cans that some folks jam into their earlobes, are also off-limits, because a duck (fercryinoutloud) has no earlobes.

A tattoo? Don’t be stupid. You wouldn’t be able to see it under all those feathers... and since feathers are constantly falling out and being replaced, it makes no sense to tattoo them anyway.

But Donald can get one of these.

Two thoughts: One, Acidman would be appalled, were he still here. Doesn’t this girl know to apply some red toenail polish? Two, I’m surprised Velociman didn’t find this and write one of his patented diatribes about it. Maybe this post will inspire him.

[Cross-posted at Straight White Guy.]

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