Sunday, November 04, 2007


Seems like I’ve been eating a lot of chicken lately.

Last Tuesday, we had stopped at Costco to buy the six hundred pounds of Hallowe’en candy we’d be handing out the next day. Afterwards, we drove past the Cheesecake Factory, and I remembered that they had an excellent lemon-herb roasted chicken on the menu. One of the few chicken dishes I’ll order in a restaurant, it comes with watercress, carrots, and mashed potatoes. Real stick-to-your-ribs food.

Then on Thursday, the Minyan Gang dined at Ted’s Montana Grill. Instead of buffalo, I opted for the Beer Can Chicken. That’s the chicken that’s roasted with a can of Anchor Steam Beer up its ass. Moist.

Yesterday, I realized that not only had I defrosted some chicken breasts, but I also had a large inventory of boiled chicken legs. I had used them to make the stock for the barley soup that nourished us on Hallowe’en as we handed out that six hundred pounds of candy, and now they sat in the refrigerator like a zombie amputee kick-line.

The Missus does not eat the Dark Meat of the Chicken, and so I decided to prepare it in a manner that I alone would enjoy. I pulled the meat off the bones, removing the skin and gristle, and then added a liberal dose of Walkerwood’s Jerk Seasoning. A quick spin through a 350°F oven and I had a steaming plate of shredded Jerk Chicken, one that had enough spice to leave a lingering feeling of heat all up and down the alimentary canal.

[Upon reflection, I probably should have saved the gristle for the Missus. She likes gristle. For her, gristle is “the other other White Meat.”]

As for the chicken breasts, I chopped those into cubes and proceeded to make Chicken Korma. A can of Patak’s Korma sauce, a little water, and a medium flame: easy as rolling off a Bandar-Log.

To go with the chicken, I fixed up a quick Biryani Rice by sautéing a chopped yellow onion in some butter and oil, adding a liberal spoonful of Patak’s biryani rice seasoning, and then throwing in some convenient Trader Joe’s frozen jasmine rice. A handful of golden raisins added extra flavor and a contrasting texture. Ten minutes later, it was ready. While the rice was cooking, I warmed up some Trader Joe’s garlic naan and applied a dab of butter to the steaming, garlicky flatbread.

A side of mango chutney completed the picture.

The nice thing about Indian food is that it’s the Meal That You Can Enjoy All Day...because you will, for sure, be tasting it all day. And all night, too, most likely. Furthermore, with me having preceded my Chicken Korma with a pile of extremely piquant Jerk Chicken, the Jamaicans and the Dravidians - Indians, West and East - were having a minor war somewhere deep in my kishkes.

It was a Fragrant Evening, indeed...but, happily, the Flatulence Gods smiled upon me and did not cause me any undue embarrassment. Could I be developing resistance?

Update: Resistance, pfaugh.

One thing about Food Indian
That causeth men to scream and shout:
As fiery ’tis when going in,
More fiery still when coming out.

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