USELESS FACTS

Being yet another meme. Ocean Guy, the fellow who writes Somewhere on A1A..., was “kind” enough to tag me with this one; however, as he had never slapped one of these upon me previously, I can hardly accuse him of abusing the Memey Privilege. And so I am happy to play along.

Herewith the rules:

• Write a post enumerating eight facts/habits about yourself. Include the rules at the beginning of the post.
  
  
• Tag eight people, posting their names and links to their sites.
  
  
• Leave comments at the sites you’ve tagged, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

Ah, so we see it’s all about Blog-Pimpage. Well, I’ll not push it quite that far. If you read this and want to play, fine: Consider yourself tagged. Otherwise, just relax, grab a cup of your favorite beverage (adult or otherwise) and read these Eight Useless Facts About Elisson...

1. Until I got within two months of the age of fifty, I had never undergone surgery or experienced the joys of general anesthesia. Then, within the span of a single year, I had procedures that involved the violation of all four of my Major Orifices - and all four of which involved general anesthesia. If you ask me what I consider to be the greatest single advance in medical technology ever, I’ll tell you it’s anesthesia - and I thank Gawd every day that I was born well after it was discovered.
   
   
2. I can wiggle my ears one at a time. (Big fucking deal.)
   
   
3. I urinate standing up and crap sitting down. Tried it the other way around and found that the results were most unsatisfactory.
   
   
4. I can make a penny (i.e., a United States one-cent coin) stick to a magnet. Without glue. (Can you?)
   
   
5. Embarrassing Moments: I missed winning our sixth-grade spelling bee by fucking up a four-letter word. (No, not that word.) The word was Noah, and Mr. Overconfidence here remembered that it was a proper noun. “Noah. Capital N - O - H - A. Aw, shit.”
   
   
6. I used to keep bottles of dangerous chemicals in my college dorm room. 70% nitric acid, useful for dissolving coins and generating clouds of deadly nitric oxide fumes. 30% hydrogen peroxide, useful for...what? Too strong to be used as an antiseptic, too weak for rocket fuel...but it would have been a great accellerant had there ever been a fire. Iodine, mercury, chloroplatinic acid, pure menthol...what can I say? I liked weird chemicals.
   
   
7. I own a Soxhlet extractor, which I’ve had since my college days. Any guesses as to what I may have used it for?
   
   
8. I have every single regular-issue MAD magazine published between April 1962 and June 1974...plus many other older ones. It’s only appropriate, since MAD and I were born in the same month back in 1952.

Now it’s your turn. Enjoy.