RAPPLE

Dr. Dre and Sam Sneed, “U Better Recognize” (1995)

Well, I’m here at the mall with the Mistress’s iBook
Sittin’ in the Apple Store so the genius can take a look
Usin’ his mad skillz an’ computer system wisdom
To figure out what kacked her operatin’ system.
Sunday morning, drug it in, now he’s got it plugged in,
I’m checkin’ out the iPhones with a shit-eatin’ grin.

And who should be there (getting’ iMac care) sittin’ next to me,
But the rap producer Sam Sneed, a pal of Dr. Dre,
(Hey, do you know me? You’re my Marietta homie!)
We talk some shizzle ’bout the music bizzle
While the tech tries to fix what made our boxes fizzle.
This dude hangs out with rappers like Snoop Dogg -
While Elisson writes blogs (like V-Man and Ice-Hog).
He’s makin’ videos with Suge Knight and Tupac
I’m writin’ posts about nose-hair and ass-crack.

Yo. The last time I drank up a bottle of Hennessy,
I was so fucked up, I had to sit down to pee.
And the last time I fired up a blunt filled with chronic,
I ordered everything on the menu at the Sonic.
The hip-hop world (fulla gangstas, all having fun)
Probably ain’t the place for a cracker named Elisson.