TAPER

When Nature calleth to you,
“Drop the kids off at the pool,”
There is no finer “outcome”
Than a smooth and pointy stool.

A gentle, pointed taper
Keeps the Ring from slamming shut;
At least, that is the story
Told by Experts of the Butt.

To strain, producing gravel
Gets my nose all out of joint.
But all’s right on Earth and Heaven
When my Turd comes to a Point.

Just as Uncle Remus taught us,
The Tar-Baby is no friend.
But things are never sticky
When you crap with Pointy End.

It’s painless and it’s quiet
Needing very little paper.
These blessings all accrue to you
When your Doodie has a Taper.

Recall the words of Mr. T:
“I pity the poor fool...”
But you won’t need his pity:
You’ve a smooth and pointy stool!