Wednesday, October 18, 2006


Soaky soaks you clean
In oceans full of fun
Flubbitty bubbity bibbity bubbity
Clean before you’re done!

Soaky soaks you clean
And every girl and boy
Gets a toy when it’s empty -
When it’s empty, it’s a toy!


Esteemed readers of a certain age will remember the “Soaky” jingle all too well, an earworm even more pernicious than that stinking Mnah Mnah choon.

Soaky was a bath detergent for the kiddies. The Marketing Geniuses came up with the brilliant concept of selling it in molded bottles shaped like popular cartoon characters: Popeye, Alvin and the Chipmunks, et alia. The Intellectual Predecessor, if you will, of the Shampoo in the Darth Vader Bottle.

Once the bottle was empty, it could be used as a bath toy by the intellectually challenged, or refilled with cheap, industrial-grade detergent by canny parents. You can find them today, offered for sale on various Internet sites to Baby Boomers with more nostalgia than sense.

But it’s that fucking jingle that stays with you. I wonder if the ad agency drone who wrote it ever thought that, 45 years down the line, it would still be stuck, peanut butter mouthroof-like, to the brains of those impressionable young tykes who heard it...

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