Friday, November 25, 2005


SWMBO and I are watching Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith on DVD at the moment. This represents the first time I am seeing a Star Wars movie on home video without ever having seen it in a theatre. A tribute, perhaps, to my Ability to Learn.

After all, if the bartender keeps serving you mugs of Hot Piss instead of beer, eventually you learn not to order beer at the bar. [Hat tip: Pete.] And with Episodes I and II, we kept hoping for cold beer...and all we kept getting was Hot Piss.

Jar-Jar Binks. Boss Nass. Midichlorians. Hot Piss.

Episode III is a slight improvement on its predecessors, if only because, amidst all of the Sturm und Drang, it ties all of the loose ends together. But I’m glad I didn’t piss away (there’s that word again!) eight bucks to see it in a theatre. My sound system at home is just fine, and if I want to take a nap during the proceedings, I need only hit the Pause button.

As fas as I’m concerned, not a single one of the Star Wars sequels - from The Empire Strikes Back on out - comes within a light year of recapturing the magic of the 1977 original. That was the one by which all others must be measured. The retro-1930’s feel, complete with arty wipes as scene transitions. Good versus Evil. The Heavy of all Heavies, Darth his ownself Vader as an unalloyed Bad Guy. A princess in danger. A naive Good Guy. And, of course, the Sidekick With Checkered Past But Who Of Course Is Good - a variation of the Whore with the Heart of Gold archetype. And the comic relief - R2D2 and C3PO in (mercifully) small doses.

When Darth Vader strode into that smoky corridor, you knew you were in for a Big Time.

This? This is shit. Busy shit. Really busy shit.

But George Lucas is a jokester, he is. There’s actually a character in this movie called Commander Cody. Really.

I wonder if he brought any of his Lost Planet Airmen with him?

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