Sunday, November 16, 2008

AN OPEN LETTER... the Gaping Assholes who left a half-crushed case of empty beer cans on the side of the road in our neighborhood.

I really don’t give a shit if you amuse yourselves by drinking beer of a Saturday evening. Even if it’s crappy mass-market beer. After all, you are not after a Gourmet Beer Experience. You are trying to get loaded, and you’re not quite desperate enough to drink Listerine.

I really don’t give a shit if you stumble home and puke in the bushes.

As long as you don’t even think about driving, I really don’t give a shit about your drinking. That’s between you and your Mommies and Daddies.

But if I catch you trashing up our neighborhood with your Beery Detritus, I will take a three-iron to you. Bank on it.

Have the simple decency to chuck your trash in a garbage can, fuckbubbles. Were you raised by wolves?

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