Monday, January 01, 2007


...they’re riding Shetlands.

But when they ride one of these, we’re gonna have to aim real low.

Elizabeth, the dwarf miniature horse.

Meet Elizabeth, the tiniest damned horse I ever saw in my life.

Back in the day when the Mistress of Sarcasm rode horses - we even owned a horse at one point - her trainer was boarding a couple of Dinky-Ass Horses.

One of these was Danny. You can see his hind end on the right in the picture above. Danny was a miniature, which meant he was large enough to pull a (small) cart. He was very popular at school events, petting zoos, and the like.

And then there was Elizabeth. A tinier horse would be hard to imagine. Not just a miniature, Elizabeth was a dwarf mini. About the size of a standard poodle, Elizabeth was too small to pull a cart - too small, in fact, to do much of anything except run around the arena on her little tiny legs and fill up her stall with horseshit.

Trust me: There was nothing as funny as watching Elizabeth trotting around that arena. Looked like one of those old Buster Keaton movies with the sped-up action, those bitty legs moving a mile a minute. Somewhere or other, I have a video. When I find it, I’ll post it on YouTube so the world can laugh its collective ass off.

Elizabeth was small enough to be a Lap Horse. Only problem with letting her have the run of the house is...well, you really can’t housebreak a horse. Even if said horse is Doggy-Size.

For those of my Esteemed Readers who are having trouble imagining Elisson and the Mistress as part of the Horsey Set, check below the fold...

The Mistress atop her horse, Mi Anam.

[Photo taken at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo, March 1998, at the Astroarena.]

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